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Humor

 What do you do . . .
From: Audrey Rector (proprietor of the Lazy R Ranch in Bastrop Louisiana)
Audrey writes:  These are OH so true. If you don't believe me, try it.
What Do You Do . . .
The Problem:
The Immediate cure:
To induce labor in a mare?
Take a nap.
To cure equine constipation?
Load them into a clean trailer.
To cure equine insomnia?
Show them in a halter class.
To get horses to wash their own feet?
Clean the water trough and fill with fresh water.
To get a mare to come into heat?
Take her to a show.
To make sure that a mare has that beautiful, perfectly marked foal you always wanted?
Sell her before she foals.
To get a show horse to set up perfectly and really stretch?
Get him out late at night,
(or anytime nobody else one is around to see him).
To induce a cold snap in the weather?
Clip a horse.
To make it rain?
Cut a hay field.
To make a small fortune in the horse business?
Start with a large fortune.

 All I Need to Know in Life ~ I learned from my Horse
Posted on the L'il Beginnings Forum By "Jody C." on February 04, 2001

1. When in doubt, run far, far away.
2. You can never have too many treats.
3. Passing gas in public is nothing to be ashamed of.
4. New shoes are an absolute necessity every 6 weeks.
5. Ignore cues. They're just a prompt to do more work.
6. Everyone loves a good, wet, slobbery kiss.
7. Heaven is eating for at least 10 hours a day and sleeping the rest.
9. Eat plenty of roughage; veggies are good for you; avoid meat.
10. Great legs and a nice rear will get you anywhere.
11. If you want to get someone's attention step on their foot.
12. In times of crisis, take a poop.
13. Act dumb when faced with a task you don't want to do.
14. Follow the herd. That way, you can't be singled out to take the blame.
15. Love those who love you, especially if they feed you.


 "MINI BREEDER LINGO"
Sent to me by Dorla Brown at High Rock Farm

"GOOD BITE"
(Missed the judge but got the steward.)

"EXCELS IN MOVEMENT"
(When she spooks, she can pass any horse in the ring.)

"THREE GOOD GAITS"
(And four we cannot name.)

"HANDLED EXCLUSIVELY BY . . ."
(No one else can get near him.)

"AT STUD TO APPROVED MARES"
(All those in season.)

"TERRIFFIC PEDIGREE"
(Old champion Whatsisname is twice in the fifth generation.)

"GOOD BROODMARE"
(Don't dare try to show her in the ring.)
~Thanks, Dorla  





                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           
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